Musings by Mary- Garage Sale

Last Saturday, we had a garage sale at our old house.  All of the money went towards bringing Baby Eby home.  We had some friends who donated things for us to sell.  The boys loved playing with all of the toys that we had set out for sale.  My sisters and I made lots of homemade treats.  Hannah baked muffins and prepared coffee for the morning hours, Emmy made cupcakes, and I made three different kinds of cookies.  We earned a good amount of money selling our baked goods.  We have had many garage sales over the years, and my sisters and I have never made that much on our baked items.  Hannah and Emmy drove over to the old house with Dad at about 6:30am.  Mom, the boys, and I went over later, at about 7:45am.  We stopped getting steady customers at about 1:30ish.  My mom had taken the boys home by then for their naps, so my sister, Dad, and I closed everything up.  Here are some pictures of all the fun we had:

The boys had fun eating the donuts that dad bought us for breakfast. It was a great day. We had lots of fun!!! 


There is a sweet little person living in China right now.  And this person is a part of our family.  He or she is an Eby.  And even though we have never seen his face, we miss him.  We have been waiting to be matched with him for four and a half months.  When we began the wait on December 12, the trends at the time showed that we would most likely be matched within three months.  This was also the case when we were waiting to be matched with Peter and Nathan, but we only ended up waiting two weeks with Peter and one month with Nathan.  So we were pretty certain it would happen quickly this time around too.  We even thought there could be a crazy chance we would be matched before Christmas.  

So for the past 20 weeks, we have been a bit on edge.  The activity in our house comes to a halt every time the phone rings.  We all wonder if this could be it.  At first this was fun and exciting.  Any day could be the day we would find out who we are adopting.  

After we were matched with both Peter and Nathan, there was a really long wait for the next approval- about a three month wait.  And then there were other shorter waits, making it five and a half months from being matched with Peter until we could go get him, and it took four and a half months with Nathan.  This wait was long partly because we were matched so quickly.  Our paperwork in China had not been translated yet because it had just arrived there.  So as the last few months have passed, I have been consoling myself with the idea that the wait after being matched will most likely be shorter than it was with the other boys.  The long waits for Peter and Nathan, after having seen their faces, were really difficult for me.  There aren’t words to describe how my heart hurt for them and longed for them during those times.  It was painful to have to just wait while our paperwork took months going through all the appropriate channels.  It was hard.  So this time around, as the wait has stretched out before us, I figured that it was probably a lot easier to wait to be matched than to wait after the match.

But as the months have passed, our excitement has faded and we are just plain discouraged.  A few weeks ago, I decided that waiting to be matched is just as hard as waiting after the match.  Maybe harder.  I am ready.  We are all ready.  We are ready to love our little one.  We are ready for the hurt and longing that come after seeing his face.  We are ready.  

Last week our family coordinator at our adoption agency said that the trends are getting longer, and we may end up waiting six to nine months total.  It could be shorter, but it could also be longer.  Nine months would take us to September.  This was a big disappointment, but a turning point in my heart.

We are big planners, Steve and I (and the kids by default).  And we have done a pretty good job mapping out just how we thought things should go.  Being the third time around, we thought we had a pretty good handle on this whole adoption situation.  But God has shown us that we are maybe just a wee bit too planned out.  And now we find ourselves with no choice but to wait.  We are not in control.  He is.  And I have come to realize that this is exactly where we need to be.  I don’t want to be anywhere else.  I want to stop planning and let Him work.  His plans are always much better than mine anyway.  

Musings by Mary- Easter

This Easter was fun, but not as fun as it could have been because we don’t have Baby Eby yet.  We still don’t even have a picture of who this little one will be.  But I can tell you that we did have fun on Easter.  We went to the sunrise service at our church, Galt Bible.  It was at 7:30.  After, there was a breakfast and then the normal Sunday service.  We stayed for all of it.  It was really fun.  And we even had time to play on the church playground in between breakfast and the normal service.  Then we went home and did some cooking for dinner.  Next, we went to Fairmont Convalescent Hospital, like we do every other Sunday.  I prepared a chapel, and  my sisters and I presented it.  We really enjoy doing that.  We went home and finished making dinner and ate after that.  My Grandpa bought a prime rib, I made potatoes, Hannah made hot cross buns, Emmy made jello, Mom made strawberry pie and prepared the asparagus.  It was a really yummy feast.  Here are some pictures:

Musings by Mary- In the Meantime

Since we have been waiting so long for the adoption, our friends, the Spenkers, invited us to their farm.  They thought we might like a distraction.  Some baby goats had been born, and they let us hold them.  There were also tractors working to help them build more space to keep their goats. The boys loved watching them work.  The Spenkers are going to open a creamery soon.  So that is why the tractors were there. They’re building the new place to milk and make  cheese and such. It was a very fun visit.  Here are some pictures:

Peter was also trying to catch a lizard. He thought it was great fun. But he didn’t catch anything. Here are some pictures of him on his fun lizard hunt.

Nathan was very intent on watching the tractors.  He didn’t want to miss a thing.

We had lots of fun at the Spenkers’ farm. It helped distract us from the long wait.

Musings by Mary Eby- Henry

Henry is our family dog.  I thought that I might write about something random since nothing is happening with the adoption.  We’ve had Henry since as long as I can remember.  My mom even saw him be born.  He was just a puppy when we got him.  Now he is about eight years old and still just as jumpy as the day that we got him.  We thought he’d grow out of his jumpiness, but he never did.  He is really sweet though, and has never bitten anyone- except for me when he mistook my hand for food.  But he truly is a great dog.

Musings by Mary Eby

For those of you who don’t know, we are still waiting for the referral.  It is really wearing on us.  But life in the meantime has been good.  We went to my grandparents’ cabin for the weekend.  We had lots of fun.  My mom taught my sisters and I to make baskets out of magazine pages.  My grandpa helped us fold the papers, and I stapled some pages together to make bigger baskets.  The boys collected rocks and we had a lot of fun playing in the snow for one of the mornings.

The boys are loving their spring break from preschool.  My sisters and I are not having a spring break because we want to finish school early.  That way we will hopefully be finished before we go to China.  We don’t know when we will go, but we’re hoping for June.  I can’t wait.  The boys keep praying for a van many times a day.  We are still looking for a big passenger van that seats 15.  You can pray that we will get one soon.  

So as we continue to wait, I get more and more jumpy.  But God will give us a child at the perfect time.  

Musings by Mary Eby- Referral

We have been waiting for the referral for a while – since two weeks before Christmas. The referral is when you get a file with a baby’s picture and you can say yes or no. You have doctors look at the medical file and the pictures and then you give an answer.  Any day now our adoption agency will give us a phone call and tell us we have a referral.  And they will send us the file of the baby in an email. 

It’s not very fun to wait.  I jump every time the phone rings. I can’t wait to see the face of our sweet Baby Eby. It is hard to wait, but I know that it’s all in God’s hands. Sometimes I get tired of waiting. And other times I feel like I want to control everything and I don’t want to wait. But I know that God will give us patience. It’s fun to wonder what Elijah or Bethany might be doing.  Those are the names we have picked out, depending on if it’s a boy or a girl.  

We are also waiting for a van right now. We want to get a passenger van with 15 seats.  This would mean we could take out the back seat for storage and drive my grandma and grandpa places with us too.  We’ve been looking for a van but have not found one that fits our needs. I have been praying that God will give us a van for free soon. I know that that seems crazy, but I believe that God can do it (most of the time). 

Even though it can be hard to wait, and even though it’s hard to trust God at times, I look forward to the day we will get the referral.  I hope that baby Elijah or Bethany is having fun right now in China. But I also hope that we all get to go get him very soon. Sometimes I feel like I miss Baby Eby, but that could be strange because I’ve never met him. The waiting definitely gets to me at times. But I can thank God for the hope of getting the referral the next day. I sure do hope we get the referral soon though. I want to see Baby Eby’s sweet face soon.  Even the boys are getting anxious. It’s very hard to be patient, but it is all in God’s hands.

I sure am looking forward to having another little brother or sister. I love hanging out with the boys, even when they hit or are in a bad mood. They are so sweet. And I sure am looking forward to having another one.  

I love China and I’m definitely looking forward to going again. It’s such an adventure, especially with my little brothers. But the best part is getting a little baby. But it definitely is really fun we finally get to go home. It’s also fun to show the new baby our house. I can’t wait to meet Baby Eby. 

Musings by Mary-Peter’s Gotcha Day


 We celebrated Peter’s Gotcha Day on January 26.  His Gotcha Day is on the 27th, but we celebrated it a day early because Mom’s birthday is on the 27th.  And it really was the 27th in China because they’re a day ahead of us.  We ate Chinese food at King Tsin and Peter made us chocolate and sprinkle covered fortune cookies.  

We had a great night.  And the next day we had a birthday to celebrate.

Musings by Mary Eby- The Chinese New Year

How did we celebrate the Chinese New Year?  Well, we had some friends over and ate Chinese food. We decorated our dining room with Chinese lanterns.  We had black and red lanterns at first and soon after realized that was a big mistake.  You never use black on the Chinese New Year.  So we just used red and other colors.  We had lots of fun dressing up in our Chinese clothes.  We ordered food to go from King Tsin, our favorite Chinese restaurant, and had lots of fun with our friends.

We had a blast.  Hannah made her famous moon cakes and we bought other Chinese desserts from a Chinese store.  We also had fortune cookies and rice cakes.  We love the Chinese New Year!!!


The adoption process is a lot of hurry up and wait.  It has been exhausting filling out all the required paperwork, getting letters notarized, meeting with the social workers, getting doctor exams, running to Sacramento to get paperwork certified, then taking that paperwork to San Fransisco for authentication, etc. etc. etc.  I felt sometimes that I was so involved with getting the requirements for the adoption accomplished that I did not have time to sit down and think about what all this busywork was leading to in the end.

I must tell you that waiting is not one of my strong suits.  I am the kind of guy that accomplishes the task as soon as it is given.  I don’t let the grass grow under my feet.  When I have to wait or rely on other people before I can finish my task, I get anxious.  After all, no one can do it better the me!  Am I right, or am I right?  

We have had, and continue to have, periods in this process that require my patience.  Up to now the most difficult wait has been waiting for our homestudy to be finished.  We are currently waiting for God to provide us with a bigger van since we will soon be a family of eight.  

Yet, there is a point in this whole process where I do not mind the wait so much.  The wait for the referral is one of the most difficult, yet exciting waits in the adoption process.  The referral is when the agency calls us with our child’s file.  When my Sarah was pregnant with our first daughter, I remember being so excited that any day could be THE DAY!  It’s kind of like waiting for Christmas morning- except you’re not sure what day Christmas will come.  Any day now we will get THE call that there is a baby in China who will be the next member of our family.  HOW EXCITING!!!  

As we wait I am reflecting on the many blessings God has provided during our adoption journey.  He has laid on the heart of our entire family that this adoption is where He is leading us.  Any of you with children know that everyone agreeing on one thing is a miracle in itself).  When we thought we would not be able to get our dossier to China before some of our paperwork expired, God enabled Homeland Security to approve our I-800A in record time.  The government never works that fast.  God also continues to provide the financial assistance to make this adoption happen.  It is amazing how God provides when we are in the center of His plan.

I have learned that God’s timing is always the best.  I am convinced that the extra time it took to complete our homestudy was because our baby was not in the right place to be adopted by us.  So God had to slow us down.  I am content in waiting for His perfect time and will count my many blessing as I wait for THE phone call.  Then the hardest wait of all will begin.  The wait to hold our baby for the first time.

Our last Christmas Eve as a family of 7!